Monday, September 10, 2007

Crossroads

I know I’m in a crossroad right now. I face two opposite roads of conflicting directions and each road will take me to a life different than the other. There could be other roads, I guess, but right now, I seem to have only two options; that is, should I continue with the road I have been traveling on or should I take a different route? This time, the latter seems to be tempting. I have thought of this before and once, I thought it happened but I got back on the same road though. That meant I had not taken a different route; I have just strayed from it.

The old road is somewhat irregular, sometimes smooth, sometimes rough like all normal roads are, I guess, but I have weathered it simply because I loved traveling on it. At first, it felt unfamiliar territory but as I traveled on, it seemed more and more like a secure direction, a comfortable destination. But I had doubts along the way as I saw other roads that seemed to beckon to me. However, I seem to have overcome all obstacles while traveling on this road. I learned to live with the good times and the tough times, so I thought I will be continuing on this road forever.

Until now, when I came upon this crossroad. The new road is a mystery; it seems to fit me judging from the size and makings of it, but I have no inkling of where it would lead me. Time and again I have come upon this road but have not seen the compelling need to switch roads. I know that like the old road I would need to adjust to it before I can really get the hang of traveling on it; that is, if I do decide to get off the old road though.

If I do decide to travel on this new road, would it disappoint me? Would it give me the security and comfort the old road has given me? Better yet, would it be a better travel than what I experienced with the old one? In short, would it be a better choice?

I do not know. I have my doubts; I have my fears. I am a person who likes security, and going off in another direction is a major risk. But, I also seem to be getting tired of the old road. Sure, I have weathered the good and the bad, but it has left me with scars and bruises. Because of the travel, some parts of my body grew callused and other parts, I have sensitive skin left exposed. This has wearied me from traveling on the same road, and come to think of it, from traveling itself.

Some say I should take the risk and go off on the new road since it seems to be fitted more for me. Others say, why go off the old road when I have already been on it for far too long that it seems to fit me well. It is a hard decision to make and it has left me stuck on the crossroad, unable to go farther.

(This is an old post from my Friendster blog. I was reminded of it because Ading Jean mentioned it in her comment for 'Bitter or Better'. I'm reposting it here to acknowledge that I did decide to get off the old road, but I'm in no hurry to get on the new road either. I'm resting from all that traveling hehehe...)

7 comments:

admindude said...

hehe, kaya pala parang nabasa ko na ito noon when i was reading it... well, my prayers are with you whatever road you travel. as trueblue says, cheers :-)

Wil said...

you're off the old road, but you're not on the new road either. So you're on a third road or you're still deciding? Well, I say go for the new road, as long as you have a back-up plan in case the new road is bumpier than you expect.

Anonymous said...

ahaha...kaya pala looks familiar...at ako pa pala ang culprit...hmmmm....yes ate...njoy the road where you are now which is neither of the latter or the new one...ahehe...ano ba un???...basta...wherever you are now...the Lord be with you...ingatz lagi....



FBI

G said...

oonga luma, bago lang yung picture :)

sis, 'lam mo yung aking perslab, hanggang ngayon nasa ere pa rin ako sa kaniya... hindi naman sa hoping pa,(halerr, saan ako makakahanap ng tulad ng aking bespren?:) kumbaga eh wala kaseng closure... 'lam mo yun, yung parang si Anne sa Persuasion ni Jane Austen. hehe

siguro kase hindi dumaan sa proseso... kaya tama ka, hinayhinay lang, daanin sa 'wait patiently on the Lord. '

Andreas Pilipus said...

Sis, too poetic for me.. ;p May be because i haven't known you for a long time, so i don't know exactly what you're talking about. ^_^ I just can guess.. Is it about xxxx xx? Or...? Hehehe
Anyway, i do believe that we need problems, fears, doubts, insecurity in order to grow. These were actually some of the main reasons why i decided to go out from my country for my MDiv.
The Lord be with you my sis...

Layad said...

Hi Sir B, thanks for praying. Luma na nga to hehehe...

I'm neither here nor there, Wil, cos I'm resting =) Hope to get on that third road though, if circumstances allow.

Yes Ading Jean, you reminded me of this post so I had to revisit it. Thanks anyway, cos I had to acknowledge the developments.

Naku naman, bru, bakit mo naman naisip si perslab mo? Nyehehehe... You are right though; it is a process. But by God's grace, I hope to move on totally =)

Hi Andreas, thanks for the comment. May the Lord be with you in your journey as well.

Anonymous said...

i love your mind suon. You are putting unseen and quite things visibly and loudly. I can't forget how it looks and sounds like. hehehe ikaw ang next Josephne Rizal!