A Tribute to my Mom on her 56th Birthday

{I was wanting to write a long letter to my mother on her birthday yesterday but a headache kept me from writing much. Good thing, a friend offered me his phone so I could call her and my family. But I still felt the need to put down some thoughts I have of a mother so uniquely my own; someone who has shaped me into who I am today.}

If there is a word that would desrcibe my mom best, it would be sensible (in most aspects, wise). She is very practical, and realistic. But that does not mean she is limited in her goals and her visions. No, contrary to that. She believes that hard work could get you to the top as most of her generation believed and often proved. Indeed, she, and my Dad, rose from the ranks in their line of work. With the demands of work and raising children, she became capable in juggling both. Recently, just a year ago, she was thinking of retiring and kept on lamenting about her being a computer illiterate, but not surprisingly, she has managed to gain some skills in that area and can now write me an email, unassisted.

If there is such a thing that she is well-known for, it is that she is shrewd with handling money and in business ventures, too. When I was young and we were still living in our old house, we had a store, a poultry and piggery. During my elementary years when we transferred to a new house, she would sell longganisa, tocino, etc. after office hours. She would take me along in most instances, albeit sometimes forcefully, and ask me to go into the houses to ask if they wanted to buy some of the products. Being the shy girl that I was, I came to hate accompanying her in these ventures. She would also insist that we sell ice candies, and would make the ice candies herself, or halo-halo. But for her, they were good training, which I only came to appreciate lately. It was because of these experiences that I knew early on that I, and I guess my siblings as well, had not inherited her business sense (something which my aunties would always point out regretfully). She also tried insurance selling in the sidelines and succeeded at it. I remember us bringing home a big karaoke complete with a microphone, and then afterwards a refrigerator, because she topped her yearly quotas. My Dad would always say if not for her wise handling of money, we would not have our house and of course, my mom would always remind us how fortunate we were in all aspects compared to their lives before. An aside: you should also see her bargain in action. She delights in battling wits with the seller, although she would not show it. When we go with her to market, my sister and I would squirm in embarrassment, but would always end up amazed at her tactics.

If there is one thing that is most important to her, it is family, and I mean the bigger circle of blood ties. She is very into family affairs -- the extended family’s concerns and difficulties. She would not let us miss clan gatherings, and would in fact be an initiator of celebrations in most cases. In addition, visiting grandparents was tops on her list. With only her mother as our living grandparent now, visiting uncles and aunties became an addition. She is quite well-known for solving problems, especially those that have to do with money. My growing up years included a succession of cousins from both sides living with us, with my parents helping them out in their education. As such, she feels duty bound to meddle, and my cousins, most of whom now have their own families, experienced her scolding a lot and her wrath in some cases.

And yet, the funny thing is she somehow learned to back off when it came to meddling in my affairs. Maybe because I inherited her stubbornness, or maybe because I left home early, I do not know. She showed her displeasure when I chose to take up Journalism and not Accounting, but still financed me through university (although she would take that up again when I could not seem to find a proper job a few months after I graduated hehehehe...). She commented rather pointedly as to why I had to find a boyfriend (now ex-bf) farther away, and not somewhere nearer, but did not pry. She is worried that my line of ‘work’ now would not yield enough to give me a secure future, but somehow finds the motivation to strengthen me. I guess she continues to grapple with letting God take care of me.

If there is one paradox that continues to amaze me about her, it is that she continues to be child-like in a variety of circumstances. She would squeal in delight when my Dad cuddles her, tell me in amazement how a certain ukay-ukay acquiesced to her very low bargaining price, ask me most earnestly whether the dress looks good on her, exclaim in wonderment when she sees things on tv, and laugh out loudly until tears would fall from her eyes. One time, when I came home for a semester break from the university, my youngest brother was being disobedient to her. Amazingly, she did not spank him, which seemed unfair for me who experienced a lot of whipping from her in my younger days. I asked her in irritation, Why don’t u spank him?, and she answered rather tiredly, Why don’t you?

You would think by these descriptions that I have my Mom all figured out. Wrong. She continues to puzzle me, and at times, infuriate me. She is tough yet compassionate, kind yet not gullible, intelligent yet sometimes naive, and well-read yet still retains some small-town girl mentality. These days I feel a deep connection to her, especially when I realize that I am turning out to be more and more like her in some aspects (still not the business sense though, too bad...;)).

My mom has a photo that I like so much. It was taken while she was on a car with the windows rolled down and the wind blowing on her face. She was laughing, eyes crinkled at the corners and teeth showing. She looked so pretty, carefree and uninhibited that it got me mesmerized for awhile when I chanced upon it. I know when she’s gone and for the rest of my life, that would be the picture I would carry of her in my head.

Proverbs 31: 10 says, “A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” To this, I would add, “A capable mother who can brag? Probably, the one I have.”